Epilepsy Talk

Damaged Goods | November 9, 2020

There’s something liberating in being expected to fail. No expectations, no explanations.

After all, “you’ll never amount to anything.” You’re damaged goods.

So you’re free to fall on your face. Or reach for the stars. I did both.

When I didn’t make friends, it was expected. “Who would want to hang out with you?”

I flunked out of Science and French. No big deal.

I was awarded first place in a writing competition. And I had to read my essay in front of the governor! Everyone was stunned.

Boys headed for the hills after just one date. “Well, what did you expect?”

I jumped off the roof at college. “Poor thing. You’re a sick girl.”

Then I graduated from college Magna Cum Laude. They couldn’t believe it. (And did not attend my graduation.)

I got the job of my dreams. Promotions came easily. My parents didn’t know what to say.

I became a successful writer and ultimately started my own freelance business which I did for over 35+ years. (Until I started Epilepsy Talk). They still couldn’t believe it.

I met the man of my dreams. My father almost had a stroke. “There must be something wrong with him. Why would he choose a girl like you.”

I’ve been married for 40 years. And I’ve had a very full, successful and happy life.

Damaged or not.

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  1. Will have to find you the source of this thought, but I was just reading that all growing begins with failure.

    Liked by 1 person

    Comment by HoDo — November 9, 2020 @ 9:54 AM

  2. When things start badly, they have no place to go but up.


    Comment by Phylis Feiner Johnson — November 9, 2020 @ 10:08 AM

    • The author’s point was more about actively learning from failure, as in, “Don’t take the pink pills with the yellow ones.”

      Some people hit bottom and stay there.

      Liked by 1 person

      Comment by HoDo — November 9, 2020 @ 6:22 PM

  3. Success is not all it appears to be IF you do everything to get accepted from the crazy & insane people of this world, who believes that you can do anything with out God & Jesus being 1st in your life. So what if i do not have the so called FEW friends of this world who just thinks of me as an Aquantince like in their mind they think,,Yeah I know of him, he has seizures & is a Jesus freak & a God cult person, so forget anything else what they know which is nothing about me. Women has very little of a problem with getting a man to accept them when the woman has seizures. If you think the game rules are the same for a woman to accept a man who has seizures, you are not living on the same earth my feet are on. I had that judgement passed on me too many times when I tell the BAD part of my life & seizures. Only God accepts me JUST AS I AM,, & my mother has never rejected me or put me down for having seizures now for 60 years as it will be THANKSGIVING DAY 2020 when they started on that day in 1960. Schools, Employment world, & everywhere else where OTHERS believe that they are so much smarter & knowledgeable to make decisions based on THEIR intelligence of THEIR brain normalcy, that they think I & other MEN with seizures do not have. Oh Really,, Would that say that about Albert Einstein, Walt Disney & others ? Probably not because they were icons who made it & made a difference in the lives of millions of people who lived with out seizures, never knowing they lived with seizures as well. So maybe I have to use my hands to walk & use my feet to eat to prove to others that I am like anyone else, but that would still not convince those who strictly judges WHAT & WHO I am that it’s not worth the risk to make me a part of their life.

    Liked by 1 person

    Comment by James D — November 9, 2020 @ 10:11 AM

    • As you say, seizures do not define you. Your attitude or your success as a human being.

      Others may not see you, or choose to see you. Or to see the jewel hiding beneath the proverbial haystack.


      Comment by Phylis Feiner Johnson — November 9, 2020 @ 10:37 AM

  4. Thank you…I really needed to read this, today. I’ve been struggling with a new medicine change and have had more seizures the past few months than I had in the last two years. It’s been so discouraging. Every bit of encouragement helps. Bless you, Phylis. xoxo

    Liked by 1 person

    Comment by Vivacia K. Ahwen and Rachel Robbins — November 9, 2020 @ 10:36 AM

    • Have you spoken to your neuro?

      I think a good idea would be to keep a seizure diary, noting your triggers, seizures, time of day and duration.

      That way you have some “ammunition” when you see him/her next. And proof of your problems on the meds.

      Liked by 1 person

      Comment by Phylis Feiner Johnson — November 9, 2020 @ 10:42 AM

      • Sending you patience and a reliable center; also a virtual attaboy! for sharing.

        Liked by 1 person

        Comment by HoDo — November 9, 2020 @ 6:25 PM

  5. Sounds like the new tablets are not good.

    Liked by 1 person

    Comment by lanceminnis — November 9, 2020 @ 5:41 PM

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    About the author

    Phylis Feiner Johnson

    Phylis Feiner Johnson

    I've been a professional copywriter for over 35 years. I also had epilepsy for decades. My mission is advocacy; to increase education, awareness and funding for epilepsy research. Together, we can make a huge difference. If not changing the world, at least helping each other, with wisdom, compassion and sharing.

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