Could it be that you dug your torment in a hole so deep that it resulted in seizures? And then after the brain surgery, a thousand little bees came out of that hole, stung you 1,000 times and now you can only nurse your wounds and cry?

Defined by the Epilepsy Foundation, a psychogenic seizure is considered a non-epileptic seizure. They’re seizures caused by psychological trauma or conflict that impacts the patient’s state of mind.

The Epilepsy Foundation states that sexual or physical abuse is the leading cause of psychogenic seizures, where the abuse occurred during childhood or more recently: life changes, like death and divorce are another possible cause of a psychogenic seizures. This form of seizure often resembles a complex partial or tonic-clonic (grand-mal) seizure, with generalized convulsions, stiffening, jerking, falling, shaking and crying. Less often, a psychogenic seizure resembles a complex partial seizure, with a temporary loss of attention.

Interestingly, about 1 in 6 of these patients either already has epileptic seizures or has had them. So different treatment is needed for each disorder. Psychogenic non-epileptic seizures are most often seen in adolescents and young adults, but they also can occur in children and the elderly. And they are three times more common in females!

Doctors have identified certain kinds of movements and patterns that seem to be more common in psychogenic seizures than in seizures caused by epilepsy. Some of these patterns do occur occasionally in epileptic seizures however, so having one of them does not necessarily mean that the seizure was non-epileptic.

Although there is trauma involved, psychogenic non-epileptic seizures do not necessarily indicate that the person has a serious psychiatric disorder. But the problem does need to be addressed and many patients need treatment.

Sometimes the episodes stop when the person learns that they are psychological. Some people have depression or anxiety disorders that can be helped by medication. Counseling for a limited time is often helpful. And the prognosis is good, with 60 to 70 percent of patients alleviated of seizure symptoms.

That being said, my childhood wasn’t too rosy either. But next to you, it looks like a day at the beach.

I’ve been in therapy for 10 years. I’m down to a low dose of Lamictal which acts as an anti-depressant and an anti-seizure med. Plus, I take Effexor which is an anti-depressant.

My shrink told me that clinical depression goes hand-in-hand with epilepsy. And I think you could get a whole lot of good (as I have) from counseling.

The trick is: how to find a good shrink? I go to a psychiatrist because he can regulate my meds. But before I found this terrific shrink, I had to kiss a lot of frogs.

I asked everyone I knew: family doctor, neurologist, friends, even the pharmacist for suggestions. (And it may be useful to ask your local EFA. They have tons of resources that they work with.)

I wrote down the names and then, believe it or not, I went around interviewing them!

It worked and I hope something will work for you.

Please be sure to tell me how you do.

I can understand why your sister left home at 21…even though she didn’t have a car. (Having no phone could have been an advantage!)

I have a friend who got married at 17 and is still happily married (although most people who get married just to “get out” aren’t usually so lucky.)

I left home at 18, but I didn’t want to get married because I was afraid I would end up like my parents in each of their various marriages. (They were ALL awful!)

The marriages all had one thing in common — screaming, yelling and emotional abuse.

How you stayed “home” until 33 is a miracle. And it certainly didn’t help that your auntie was manipulating you big time.

I think your mother was yanking your chain also. She sounds like a pretty toxic person.

I speak from experience. My mother is manipulative, narcissistic, and plain old mean. (She used to tell me EVERY day how ugly I was. I guess it made her feel good.)

I tried to make things “right” with her until I was 54. Then she said something to my husband that was so outrageous and so disrespectful, I snapped. (Hurt me, but don’t screw with the ones I love.)

I am now 58 and have not spoken to her ever since.

Oh, did I forget to tell you she’s an alcoholic and a liar? That she burned down her kitchen and even managed to set fire to a toaster oven?

Although every effort (2 stints in rehab, where somehow or other, she manged to sneak in vodka.) has been made…she’s never going to change.

My husband — angel that he is — pays her rent, insurance, doctors, meds and a top notch Geriatric Care Manager. I don’t know how he finds it in his heart to do this. She’s been nothing but abusive to him the entire time I had a “relationship” with her.

Belinda, please don’t let your mother torture you with abuse and guilt. You deserve so much more than that. I know she’s your mother, there’s no denying that, but you have to learn to protect yourself, your family and your inner feelings.

There are many people out there who love you. Focus on them.

Welcome! Have you ever been to a neurologist and been tested? Do you have seizures? Or had the luxury of going to a “talk” therapist? I find that and the meds I take, do me a world of good.

All types of abuse — sexual, physical, and emotional (including verbal abuse and witnessing domestic violence) raise the risk of depression, anxiety and epilepsy-like symptoms.

I was also abused emotionally. My mother, step- father (who was a surgeon!), and step-mother (who was a SHRINK!) never ever mentioned the “E” word.

It’s as if I was damaged goods and they assured me I’d never amount to anything.

Well, here I am at 57, a successful copywriter, happily married, with a wonderful life.

I think you have to just let it go. (My mother is quite the same as yours!)

Why would you be having seizures when they took away your meds…then recover once they gave them to you again?

When I went to the hospital to have my colonoscopy, they showed me that I do not have epilepsy at all. I do have epilepsy.

It’s likely that structural brain abnormalities underlie both epilepsy and psychosis, and that the seizures appear as a psychotic episode. So, it’s confusing, because often it’s difficult to distinguish between the two.

That being said, your mom was pretty sick, physically and psychologically. And the meds back then were enough to make you crazy even if you weren’t before!

I was diagnosed in 1965 and my choices were phenobarbitol and dialantin. Both were awful. And psychiatric drugs were in their infancy back then too. So who knows what kind of effect the drugs had on her? But either way, it was no picnic for you.

Now, on to you. According to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, report on Long-Term Consequences of Child Abuse and Neglect: “Outcomes of individual cases vary widely and are affected by a combination of factors, including:

The child’s age and developmental status when the abuse or neglect occurred…

The type of abuse (physical abuse, neglect, sexual abuse, etc.)…

The frequency, duration, and severity of abuse…

The relationship between the victim and his or her abuser…

Psychological and emotional conditions associated with abuse and neglect include panic disorder, dissociative disorders, attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder, depression, anger, posttraumatic stress disorder, and reactive attachment disorder.”

http://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/factsheets/long_term_consequences.cfm#psych

So the bad news is that you’ve suffered a lot. The good news is that you don’t have ALL of these problems.

As one who was verbally abused and neglected by a narcissistic mother, I have deep scars, too. They’re just a little bit different — as are we all.